A typical conversation at our house

It's New Years Day and I have no hangover; none whatsoever.

How very mature and sensible of me. 

I have truly entered the world of  Dad-dom now. 

Not for me the abandoned headiness of 'whooping it up' at the Rivoli with my non-dad chums; none of this getting smashed before before 9pm, then continuing to get utterly smashed as midnight approaches before staggering along to the nearest friends house to smash whatever part of your consciousness remains un-smashed before being incredibly sick in their fishpond.

Not anymore; that stuff is for people who are not as mature or as sensible as myself.

Instead in the company of my good lady Wife and some friends who have also become sensible and mature, we watch Jools Holland's Hootenanny and genteelly sip champagne. 

Breakfast.

Mother-in-Law enters kitchen.

She is amazed I am not dying with a hangover. I try to explain that I am now sensible and mature, but she's not buying it. She remembers me before I became a pillar of society. She probably also remembers how I caused my friends goldfish to choke on vomit around this time of year not too long ago. 

I try to change the subject by talking about someone who featured on the Hootenanny:

Me: " His name's Seasick Steve"

MiL: "C16?"

Me: "No...Seasick Steve. Seasick. Steve."

MiL: "I don't know what you're saying"

It should be clear at this stage that Mother-in-Law's ears are purely ornamental.

Me: "Seasick (pause) Steve. SEASICK STEVE. Seasick as in boats...."

Mil: "oh, Seasick."

Me: "Yes! and Steve as in Stephen."

MiL " Steve."

Me: (relieved, the end is in sight) "That's it.....so what's his name?"

MiL: "How would I know?"