Technology

Wife is a technophobe.

Technophobia may not even be the correct way to describe the gaping blank spot she has when it comes to interacting with technology.

She doesn't merely avoid it, when she sees Technology coming, she briskly crosses the road, darts up the nearest dark alley, crouches behind a box, bin or anything handy and offers up prayers that IT will swiftly pass her by.

If tech saviness equated to being a svelte leopard tearing across a sun baked savannah, not seen for dust, then Wife would be a slow moving old lady, living in a remote Highland village, shuffling through snow to the village post office to send a telegram to a relative away fighting the Crimean war.

There are many examples of Wife's naiveté with the tools of the modern world ("Is Blue Tooth an allergy thing?") but on Saturday she excelled herself:

Daughter#2 is a light sleeper.
Wife decides a Baby Monitor is the ideal thing to do sleeping baby monitoring. Amazon is visited and two days later the item arrives.

Sitting around the table as the item is unpackaged are Self, Brother-In-Law and Sister-In-Law. This is fortunate, three witnesses to verify the following really took place.

Wife removes two units from the box. She eschews the manual, and scrutinises the white plastic transmitter and receiver, one in each hand.

"What do I do now?" she asks no one in particular.
"I think you need to pair them up." I offer, having quickly skimmed the discarded manual.
Wife looks blankly at all three of us. "Pair them up?"
"Yes," agrees Brother-In Law, " they need to be paired up."

Wife slowly begins to move her hands together.

She gently places one unit on top of the other and begins to gently tap them against each other.
"Like this?"