Buying Children's Furniture - A Cautionary Tale

MiL has been strangely silent these past few days and it seems it has fallen to Wife to bring bite sized morsels of the Sublime to our table.

Recently Wife has been wanting to replace Daughters Swing-and-Sing baby chair with something more appropriate for a sophisticated young lady approaching her third birthday. The Internet is always Wife's preferred method of acquiring items such as this and so she quietly spends a few hours scouring eBay for a comfortable chair for Daughter to repose comfortably in whilst bathing her gums in Marmite butties and demanding to have the Scooby Doo DVD put on.

Finally she (Wife) finds what seems to be an interesting bargain; a small armchair apparently designed exactly with kids in mind. The chair is quite something, highly colourful and very comfortable looking, and the Seller is also offering a matching pouffe in a separate listing. Wife is delighted with her finds; a quick visit to AuctionSniper to list her bid for the items and then Wife contentedly sits back to watch her soaps.

One of the many roles I perform in our house is that of Furniture Removals and Relocation, and it is in this capacity I am instructed to place the now retired Swing-and-Swing into the loft, presumably where it will await Child#2's arrival at some point in the scheme of things. The transference of Stuff into the loft is quite a task and one in which i don't have the energy or adjectives to do justice to in this missive.

With the S+S out of the way, Wife moves other items of furniture about to accommodate the arrival of Daughters new chair in the post.

Three days later and Postman knocks at the door with 2 packages which he hands me - yes, hands me. Bemused I take the items to the Kitchen for Wife to open.

There follows several brief moments of what can only be described as startled confusion as we digest the two items sitting before us on the table. A chair (the size of a large grapefruit and accompanying pouffe, the size of a slightly smaller grapefruit.

Eventually I feel I should say something.

Solemnly I offer encouragement to Wife on finding what would be a fine set of furniture for Daughter if only she were the size of her teddy bear.

I also ask if I may be permitted to veto any future furniture purchases.