The Loneliness of the Short Order Chef

It's mealtime. Again.
I'm preparing the dinner whilst Wife battles her way home from work.

On tonights menu:
Daughter: Bâtonnets de poisson aves des frites boućles

Wife: Fresh vegetable stir fry with quorn chunks

MiL and Self: Cod pie in parsley sauce with fresh garden peas.

Unfortunately I neglected to remove the pie from the freezer before leaving for work this morning, so the fish pie needs a hefty 65 minutes in the oven. I hope MiL isn't too hungry and won't mind waiting a bit longer than usual for her dinner.

"What's for dinner?"
Whilst I have been preoccupied MiL has shuffled into the kitchen.
"You and me are having fish pie and peas"
"Fish pie?"
"Yes. " I hold my breath expecting MiL to say she never eats fish (which would be a blatent lie; she's eats more fish than a large Eskimo tribe).
"That sounds OK"
The room starts to swirl around me and I have to grab the work top to stop me falling over.
"You don't mind fish pie?"
"No, that sounds nice. " I don't believe what I'm hearing, for once she's happy with something I've made. But then:
"How long will it be? I'm starving hungry. "
My spirits ebb. "About an hour. "
"What?!"
"An hour. "
"NO! Why does it take you so long? Isn't there something else we can eat?"
"I've put it in the oven now. "
"I can't wait an hour. I'm starving. "
I sigh. "Let me see what I can find. " I open the freezer.
"What do you fancy?"
"Anything that won't take an hour. I'm not fussy. "
"There's curry. "
"No. "
"Vege burger?"
"No. "
"Quorn bake?"
"God no. "
I'm now moving onto Daughters food tray. Smiley face fries. No. Mr Men fish bites. No. Mini Pizza treats. No. Scooby Doo Micro Snax.
"This all sounds like foreign food. Isn't there anything else?"
"Theres a whole freezer" I reply wearily, gesturing towards the many items contained therein.
MiL sniffs and moves off towards the corridor.
"Call me when my fish pie is finally done."
Naturally she doesn't hear my reply.